True Story

After Preston picked me up from the library tonight, I asked him if we could go to Starbucks. I have a meeting about My Non-Existent Thesis tomorrow, and since by noon tomorrow The Thesis of Doom (all these fun names!) has to be at least Partially Existent, I decided that 1) I was going to have to stay up into the wee hours of the morn, and 2) the best way to accomplish that needed to involve many shots of espresso, in some form or another. SO ANYWAYS. To Starbucks we went.

So I've ordered my triple Venti Skinny Vanilla Latté, and they ring me up with a total of $5.14. I fork over the money, knowing that it's totally ridiculous to pay $5 for frothy milk, espresso, and syrup, but not really feeling that guilty, because my Starbucks habit has been SERIOUSLY contained this fall, and I haven't had a latté in weeks. Plus I have to stay up alllllllllll night to invent a thesis. ALSO: Christmas cups are here! Totally and unabashedly excited.

ANYWAYS (again...clearly the three shots of espresso are making! me! excited!), so I pay the money, zip my wallet closed, turn around, and see Preston's jaw on the floor as he looks up at the price list above the register. "FIVE DOLLARS? That is an EXPENSIVE cup of coffee." And I realized that, behold, America: meet Preston, the lone U.S. citizen who doesn't drink coffee and, therefore, until tonight, had no idea that we were all being robbed. You learn something new every day. Unfortunately I still have not learned how to conjure a thesis out of thin air, but believe me. I'm working on it.

In Which I Am The Lamest Person Ever

So today at the library I just really wasn't focusing. That's not to say I wasn't trying: I had given myself pep talks (so serious), I had my cup of hot tea (requisite in the LIBRARY OF ICE) and my classical music of choice; my highlighter and pen were poised and ready to continue reading...and as much as I wanted to focus on this article on Ovid's Fasti - nay, become ONE with this article on Ovid's Fasti - it just wasn't meant to be.

Generally when I can't focus I open my laptop and distract myself with The Magic of Internet. Oh, the Magic of Internet. However, in a cruel twist of irony, or just because I know myself too well, I had left my laptop at home this morning so that I would ACTUALLY read these articles on the Fasti. Luckily, however, there are computers tucked in every nook and cranny of the school library, so I didn't have to go far to get my fix (and yes - it is most definitely a "fix").

Once at the computer, I started checking my email accounts (personal, school, blog), and then I remembered that BEHOLD there is another email account I can check! Callie's!

That is right. Callie has an email account. She also has a facebook. Moral of the story: I must have been really bored one day. Slash, yes, I really am that embarrassing to the human race. ANYWAYS I never check Callie's email account, because, well, it's Callie's email account, and as a canine, she only receives so much email. Today, however, I realized that although she has received emails, she has never sent an email. Those pesky opposable thumbs.

The opportunity was just too delicious to be missed. So, without further ado, let it be henceforth known that today, I sent Preston an email from Callie. Which on the one hand made me feel like the lamest person EVER. But on the other hand, it also really made me laugh. I laughed the whole time I was writing it, and Preston laughed when he received it. And doesn't that really matter more than looking lame on the internet? Clearly I think the correct answer is YES. And if you disagree, that's your prerogative. I promise I will not be this lame forever. AND I will have you know that I finished not only the original article, but also three more. BOO-YAH.

Here is the text in its entirety.

Hi The Tall One,

I just wanted to say hey. I've had a pretty good day so far. Done some sleeping, a little bit of walking around The Annoying One's crate, making her totally jealous that she's in there and I'm out here. It feels divine. I haven't eaten anything (obvi) because eating is just sooooo plebeian. Although The Annoying One did eat some of my breakfast when The Short One went to go make her tea this morning, so you might want to supplement my bowl with a quarter or half of a scoop. Just a suggestion.

I have a feeling that The Short One is wanting to avoid her homework SO MUCH that she is trying to think of really, really creative ways to accomplish that at the library. Just a feeling I have. Or something.

Anyways, I can't wait to see you for our WALK! this afternoon. That is definitely the best part of my mid-afternoon routine. I mean honestly, WHAT is more fun than finding 38 places to pee in a half a mile circuit and being indecisive about pooping as cars zoom past me? I might be scared of rain and/or the air, but cars whizzing past me at breakneck speeds while I take a crap? CHILD'S PLAY.

I'm pretty sure that tomorrow's the day when you and The Short One don't abandon us all day, so that's pretty awesome. And hey, if you could kick The Annoying One off of the bed sometimes, that would be sweet. Because I really, really like to cuddle. No one cuddled me for a long time, and you and The Short One are really good at it. I love you guys.

Sending lots of paws (but not licks, because I know you don't like them, and unlike The Annoying One, I pick up on subtleties like this one),

Callie

PS-You cannot divorce The Short One because she sends lame emails like this one, ok? Thx.

Oh Me.

My seventeen year-old brother (who does not read this blog) just changed his profile picture on facebook to one of him with a girl perched delicately on his lap. To be fair, this is a girl he's been dating for over a year (they just celebrated their one-year anniversary). To be unfair, MATTHEW IS A FETUS. I mean, honestly. If my seventeen year-old brother is old enough to have a facebook profile picture (since, you know, facebook is obviously an appropriate touchstone for reality) in which a girl is sitting on his lap, then...BAH I don't know. That just means I'm OLD.

But honestly, in my defense, I think of Matthew like this:

And a boy who allows his much more powerful, obviously completely awesome older sister to dress him up in a purple scarf and white pants to play Aladdin to her Jasmine is clearly NOT old enough to balance a teenage girl on his lap. I rest my case.

Photographic Evidence

As I mentioned in the post below, HURRAH VICTORY EVERYBODY CHEER: I am at long last up-to-date with photos. Flickr is, for the first time in a long time, current. There are several sets of completely new photos.

In August, highlights included:

• meeting RA at her Gap-sponsored Born To Fit party (where all the guests got free jeans!)
• celebrating Preston's birthday
  
• vacationing in Wintergreen, where we breathed in mountain air, soaked in all the Virginia we could, and visited with friends:

Margaret and I at the top of Crabtree Falls in Nelson County, Virginia.

Kelly and I at Blue Mountain Brewery.

• painting our apartment (though I'm not sure either of us would necessarily call that experience a highlight). I still haven't taken official "after" shots of the rooms we painted, but if you would like to see the fugly before shots, or learn where I got all the furniture in our dining room, you should check this set out. As a teaser, our den went from this:

to this:
Highlights of the fall have included:

• watching the Phillies game from awesome seats (courtesy of parents of one of Preston's students). We took lots of smiley pictures (like the one on the sidebar), cheered on the Phils, and ate ice cream in little hats! Squeal!

Cheering on the Phillies while awkwardly holding this towel. Sweeeeet.

• meeting Penelope and my friend Mary (Penelope's sister) for delicious brunch (Crème Brûlée French Toast OHMAHGOD) while we celebrated Mary's engagement! Also, learning that I'm going to be a bridesmaid! Eek!
• heading to Virginia for a night and visiting with my friend Margaret, and having an IN REAL LIFE blogger reunion with Ab and Jamie! As Jamie wrote this morning, this occasion deserves a post of its own, but for now, I think these pictures will show that my friends officially have the cutest babies ever in the entire world. Lydia and Jackson totally melted my heart (and it was also pretty awesome to see their lovely mothers as well =) ).

Jamie, sleeping Jackson, and Ab during brunch at Galaxy Diner.

• (again, this might not necessarily be a highlight, but...) travelling to Gettysburg this past weekend with my War and Peace (in the Ancient World - not Tolstoy) seminar, and taking many, many pictures. As per usual. This trip would have been better if it hadn't been POURING RAIN for (almost) the whole day. It also would have been better if we hadn't had to sacrifice an entire Saturday to the cause. Ah well. At the end of the day, it is a pretty incredible place and I'll bet that on a clear day the views of central Pennsylvania are spectacular.
• and, as ever, hanging out at home with Pres, Callie, and Ness, the most awesome of awesome baby families I could ask for. I know that from here on out the semester will be jam-packed with papers, meetings, colloquia, symposia, and exams. And to all of those end-of-term stresses, to all of those seemingly insurmountable pieces of minutiae, this is what I say to you (or, rather, this is what I'm having Ness say to you):

Piss off.
Love,
Mary Frances

Playing Catch Up

So I'm pretty sure it's common knowledge around my corner of the internet that I take a lot of pictures. Preston An anonymous bystander might say that I take too many pictures.

Too many photos or not, I take them for fun as a hobby - not to stress me out. However, I took so so so many pictures on vacation in Scotland that uploading them became this HUGE ENORMOUS task that I never wanted to do because it would take me SO LONG. And I just didn't have TIME to upload pictures, you know, in the summer. Ahem. Bottom line: uploading the photos became a stressful, dreaded task.

And of course, because uploading the Scotland pictures became A Big Deal, I fell way behind on uploading my subsequent pictures (of which there were plenty - let my Flickr stream assure you). HOWEVER, gentle reader, the time has come to celebrate, because hark! As of this afternoon, I am one hundred percent up-to-date with my photos. And it feels really good.

It feels really good not only because I got to cross "finish uploading photos" off of my master to-do list (although that did feel pretty awesome), but also because it marks, for me, a sign that I'm returning to normalcy - that everyday life is returning to normalcy.

This photo upload brouhaha is a classic example of a task that began as a simple one - even a fun one. As I sank deeper and deeper into my depression, however, even tasks as simple as this one became impossiblities, or, perhaps more accurately, insurmountable obstacles of DOOM. Because logically I knew that such tasks were simple - that I shouldn't feel such crushing anxiety over uploading a bunch of pictures of my DOGS, mending a dress, or sending a birthday card in the mail - I felt even worse about myself when I was unable to complete them, or even to begin them.

I have been in therapy now for five weeks. The first time I saw the therapist I see now, she said, "Why don't you come twice a week at first?" Because y'all. That is how not ok I was. I am back down to one session a week, but the difference I detect between the Mary Frances of six weeks ago and the Mary Frances of today is palpable.

I'm not saying I don't ever have bad days, because I do. I still have days when I sob uncontrollably, when I have anxiety attacks on the way home from the library, and when the knowledge that I can climb into bed at night and go to sleep is all that propels me through the day. BUT. Most of the time, I feel stronger than I've felt in years. I still have a long way to go. I know that. I come with years of baggage, and although my hours of therapy have been productive ones, I've still hardly unzipped the front pocket of one of so very many suitcases. But for now, I'm going to take the completion of this task - this small task that had become So Much More - as proof that I'm gradually piecing myself, and my everyday life, back together. And at this point, few things could feel more thrilling.

Photos here.

Initial Thoughts

On the one hand, I have a horrifying amount of work still to be done for class at 4:00 today and want to cry. On the other hand, the dogs pooped at the same time on our morning walk, which meant I only had to use one bag. So I don't know. I feel like the day could go either way, right?

Happy Hump Day! And YES. I did just go there.

Snippets from the Kitchen

Mary Frances: Have you looked at the Scotland pictures yet?

Preston: No, I haven't had a chance.

Mary Frances: Well, there are a lot of them. Honestly, I didn't realize I was taking quite so many pictures.

Preston: No comment.